The Cellar

It’s creepy kids in a haunted house season, and our latest installment is The Cellar. Family moves to this big spooky gothic manor house with weird symbols all over it, and don’t think ‘let’s fucking leave immediately’.

The daughter is the only one with sense, so she has to missing pretty quick. This leaves the daft mum to put together the pieces of the house’s weirdness painstakingly slowly. See if you moved to a new neighbourhood, and you’re wean went missing on the first night, wouldn’t you just not move in? Like, even with no supernatural element, wouldn’t that be enough to call a halt to the move, send your son to stay at grandma’s?

Anyway, Mum decides to stay and solve the puzzle, hence the film. I thought the daughter, played by Abby Fitz gave the best performance. It’s watchable enough.

If you like this…