The Ledge

Speaking of cartoon villains.

Four escapees from an 80s frat movie are going mountain climbing when they run into two lassies. The lassies have heavy Women Laughing With Salad energy, and after a fireside swapping of homophobic jokes, the lead frat boy tries to rape one of the lassies. When he fails, he punches her off a rock ledge, seriously injuring her. He then gets his mates to help kill her and chuck her off the mountain. Alas for them, the other lassie sees them and films it. Because if you are going mountaineering, you obviously take a hand-held camera for that free time your hands’ll be empty.

This film is unintentionally hilarious. The main lassie is like a Xanax commercial, doing a sad face, then remembering her dead fiance, and doing a resolved looking-towards-the-future face. The flashbacks to the dead husband are so funny. He looks like a model, staring into the camera and saying shit like, “You got this”. He has this Italian, but also kinda English sounding accent, he has that muddled sound that whats-his-chops has in Black Swan. Anyway, he’s constantly purring encouragements in reverb over the wind, which is a total rofl.

The whole movie is cheesy af. This is just some of the daftest dialogue. My favourite line was, “How do you think Jessica got so good at blowjobs?” The chest thumping machismo is laughable and so lame.

The whole tension of setting the action on a mountainside is lost, coz you never feel like you’re on a mountain. Because they are clearly on a set with the rocks from Star Trek, they can’t do any wide shots. So you never get a sense of where they are on the mountain, where she is in relation to the top or bottom, or how far off the ground they are. I mean, they do sometimes look down, but it’s at a green screen, so it looks flat and has no depth. There are a couple of shots of a real mountainside, but not many.

It’s not quite in the category of so bad it’s good, but it’s certainly past the point of being bad and swinging back towards being entertaining.