Cold Skin

A film about a lighthouse and its occupants under seige from fish-people on a remote island. It’s kind like the anti-Shape of Water, because instead of a woman falling in love and saving a fish-man, a guy kidnaps, rapes and beats a fish-woman. This sparks off the conflict, which is represented as a microcosm of the cruelty and futility of war. However this film is barely more than the idea of the premise. The lighthouse being attacked in a neverending seige by those similar but different might be a good image but an image warrants a painting, not a 2 hour film. The entire run time is essentially just that image repeated over and over again, and no amount of narration or recitation of William Blake poetry can disguise the utter absence of a story in this film. The shots are very pretty but, again, unable to compensate for more than the first few minutes of screen time, certainly unable to carry an empty shell of a film.

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Kissing Candice

An Irish film about a lassie whose epilepsy may or may not be giving her psychic visions, and a local gang of drooges who are responsible for the disappearance of a young boy. That being said, it feels like the film’s about nothing. I got bored very early in (although it felt long enough for me) and there was nothing to regain my attention for the rest of the film.

Ghost Stories

Just walked home in the dark in knee-deep snow after pure shiting it at a horror movie at the GFT. That’s hardcore filmcore. Although not as hardcore as the GFF staff, some of whom slept overnight in the cinema so they could open – bravo!

The director was supposed to be there since it was the premiere but he got stuck in Preston because of the snow and had to send a video introduction filmed on his phone from inside the train toilet. Pity he couldn’t be there, because he would have seen the most die-hard horror fans who’d trekked through the worst snowstorm in a decade to be there, all shiting it and shrieking at his movie.

Ghost Stories is very very good. It is a fucking great movie. It’s basically composed of three short stories that are wrapped up together in the last act. It is one the best ghost story type horror movie I’ve seen in ages. Properly gets a good chilling vibe going, an eerie M. R. James feel, old school.

The first story stars Paul Whitehouse, excellent in this dramatic role. From this first I knew I was gonna love this movie. It builds expertly utter creep. There are a few jump-scares, and there are a few loud-for-scary exchanges, but the film is so much more than that. It builds a total atmosphere of look-over-you-shoulder, can’t-watch-now suspense, that by the time you see anything, you would jump out of your seat regardless of how loud or quiet it was. There is virtually no gore or overdone makeup grossness. This film just lives by its piano wire-tight tension. I realised this movie had got me when I was watching Paul Whitehouse venture down into the darkness, and I heard myself think in my head, “I’m afraid”.

Definitely go see this at the pictures when it comes out in August. It is definitely a movie to see with someone you can jump with and then laugh. I pure let out the terror moo on a couple of occasions. Fucking A!

Vampire Clay

Just out of Vampire Clay, which does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a Japanese movie about man-eating clay, and that’s all you really need to know. It’s got the weird silliness and creepiness of Round The Twist, with aspirations to the special effects of something like The Thing or Evil Dead. It also weirdly reminded me of 80s Doctor Who horror episodes, but I’m not totally sure why.

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