Kuso

Kuso is a movie that poses one simple question – What. The. Fuck? It’s about the nightmares had in the aftershocks of a New York earthquake (I think?). At first I was like Phhft, this isn’t as bad as my dreams, then a long cockroach crawls out a guy’s goatse and the guy lying underneath him breaks off one of its antenna and drinks the green cum that spurts out, and I thought naw, this is as bad.

For those interested, the cockroach’s name was Mr Quiggle.

Favourite line “I think the polite thing now would be to name me”.

Actually fucking hilarious.

The Transfiguration

Really enjoyed The Transfiguration, a movie about a small, bookish, African-American boy obsessed with vampires who’s living his dream. While folk try to buy drugs off him or grill him on snitching to the cops, no one suspects what he really is, no one comes close to linking him to the corpses with their throats torn out. This is a great addition to the genre, two thumbs up.

Goldstone

A sorta sequel to Mystery Road. Detective Jay Swann is back, he’s cleaning up another town, and this time he’s partnering up – with 300 fucking flies. Seriously, like every fucking fly in the Australian outback is in this movie, usually half an inch from the actors’ eyeball or lip – get that tae fuck! I hate watching roamy fucking flies, seriously.

Thing I liked about Mystery Road, it was tight, it was tense, it was breathless. This is much more chatty and obvious. Mystery Road was like No Country For Old Men, Goldstone was more like Machete Kills. Still good for all that. Aaron Pedersen remains the best thing in the movie. In some ways he, and the character of Jay Swann, are better than the story he’s in.

It was a bit sad to see Jay back on the drink at the start of the film but I guess it’s necessary for him to have an arc. 

Angry Inuk

An engaging and challenging look at seal hunting by Inuit people. It sets out very clearly what seal hunting means to Inuit and the Inuit way of life, and how the portrayal of seal hunting and anti-seal hunting campaigns have impacted them. What I found astounding is that in the 8 years it took to make this movie, despite constant requests to a variety of the major anti-sealing campaign groups, and despite the fact that animal rights groups and indigenous peoples should be effectively be on the same side, not one person would meet with the filmmaker or any of the Inuit activists to discuss the matter, or hear their side of the story. I’d actually highly recommend you see this one, you don’t commonly come across Inuit perspectives and this is a great film.

Phantasm

Never actually seen Phantasm so thought seeing it for the first time in the cinema at midnight would be nice. I really didn’t know what to expect, except for the image of The Tall Man and the fact it was a second-shelf classic. Watching it, I was just like, “My God.” An early best-worst movie. Total nonsense, silly, almost incoherent plot – you can see why people would find it endearing but I think you’d have to grow up with it for it to find a place in your heart. I especially liked how nonchalant everyone is about the absolute mad shit going on. Guy’s carrying the 3-foot-long hooded corpse of a murdered friend and says, “You didn’t tell me the dwarf was Tommy” in the same voice you’d use for “You didn’t tell me the taxi needed to be a 5-seater”. Points for good title font.