Fashionista
A film about a vintage clothing shop owner who goes off the rails when her husband has an affair. Overlong, slow and unfocused, but the main actress is actually great and gives a really good performance.
Month: February 2017
Cage Dive
That film is a hot mess, top to toe. Far too much of nothing happens. There’s no tension, no reason to care about the characters, and the first half hour is just ass shots of bikini bottoms. Great concept, awful execution.
Happy Hunting
A solid redneck chase movie. It was fine, but I just felt it needed to get there faster. There’s no reason this movie couldn’t be leaner, tighter. Not everything needs to be explained, repeated or in slow motion.
Kuso
Kuso is a movie that poses one simple question – What. The. Fuck? It’s about the nightmares had in the aftershocks of a New York earthquake (I think?). At first I was like Phhft, this isn’t as bad as my dreams, then a long cockroach crawls out a guy’s goatse and the guy lying underneath…
The Transfiguration
Really enjoyed The Transfiguration, a movie about a small, bookish, African-American boy obsessed with vampires who’s living his dream. While folk try to buy drugs off him or grill him on snitching to the cops, no one suspects what he really is, no one comes close to linking him to the corpses with their throats…
It Stains The Sands Red
A zombie flick about a plucky stripper being chased across the desert by a lone zombie. It’s actually pretty good, although it has a clunky add-on ending and an unnecessary rape scene.
Goldstone
A sorta sequel to Mystery Road. Detective Jay Swann is back, he’s cleaning up another town, and this time he’s partnering up – with 300 fucking flies. Seriously, like every fucking fly in the Australian outback is in this movie, usually half an inch from the actors’ eyeball or lip – get that tae fuck!…
Angry Inuk
An engaging and challenging look at seal hunting by Inuit people. It sets out very clearly what seal hunting means to Inuit and the Inuit way of life, and how the portrayal of seal hunting and anti-seal hunting campaigns have impacted them. What I found astounding is that in the 8 years it took to…
Phantasm
Never actually seen Phantasm so thought seeing it for the first time in the cinema at midnight would be nice. I really didn’t know what to expect, except for the image of The Tall Man and the fact it was a second-shelf classic. Watching it, I was just like, “My God.” An early best-worst movie.…
A Cure For Wellness
A bingo card of obvious cliches. Another horror film that confuses creepy for loud. That movie felt like it lasted 4 or 5 days. Utterly without merit apart from the 90-second dentistry scene.