Category: GFF strand – FrightFest

Patchwork is fucking awesome!

It’s pretty much the binary opposite I was worried it might be from the trailer. Although it was billed as a comedy, the trailer still makes it look like it’s heavy with gore and the kinda pulling-women-apart-like-they’re-merely-a-collection-of-bits. But it’s actually fucking excellent. It’s like a BFFs, chick empowerment, monster rampage movie. It’s like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants meets Herbet West Reanimator. It’s fucking hilarious.

Favourite line: Release the owl-cat! 

Telekinetic lovebirds vs. evil scientist in straightforward, enjoyable, eye-bleeding, head-exploding fun. Early Carpenter influenced style and kick-ass synth-heavy score, favourite Frightfest film so far. 

Standard zombie apocalypse movie shot in video game first person shooter POV. Welcome just for the fast-paced action.

An attempt to make a possession movie played for the emotion rather than horror. The downside is it makes for rather slow and boring watching.

Gash B-movie Hexecutioners never really gets going with either atmosphere or tension. Seems to take forever to end. 

Here’s the plot to The Forest:

“Don’t go into the forest. If you, don’t leave the path. If you leave the path, definitely don’t stay there after dark.”

“Okay”

*runs in random circles through the forest for hours*

I expected to feel a little annoyed by the cultural appropriation aspect of yet another white lead in a Japanese set horror movie, but actually what became my biggest annoyance was that not since The Blair Witch Project have I seen a main character just make consistently awful decisions throughout the entirety of the picture. Points for nice filming, obviously a beautiful location, but it was over-reliant on jump-scares.

And finishing with There Are Monsters, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers with added shakycam. It’s chief virtue is the pithy dialogue, an enjoyable watch.

A silly funny horror about a guy fusing to a clown costume and transforming into a child-eating demon.

An utterly silly film whose chief virtue is watching Ben Kingsley enjoy acting.

Ben’s like, “Motherfucker I was Gandhi. Now I do Uwe Boll films and shit like this for the lols!”

A tense found footage horror/thriller about a cult, great example of the ilk of life-in-small-idyllic-towns-turns-on-a-dime.