Patchwork

Patchwork is fucking awesome!

It’s pretty much the binary opposite I was worried it might be from the trailer. Although it was billed as a comedy, the trailer still makes it look like it’s heavy with gore and the kinda pulling-women-apart-like-they’re-merely-a-collection-of-bits. But it’s actually fucking excellent. It’s like a BFFs, chick empowerment, monster rampage movie. It’s like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants meets Herbet West Reanimator. It’s fucking hilarious.

Favourite line: Release the owl-cat! 

If you like this

The Forest

Here’s the plot to The Forest:

“Don’t go into the forest. If you, don’t leave the path. If you leave the path, definitely don’t stay there after dark.”

“Okay”

*runs in random circles through the forest for hours*

I expected to feel a little annoyed by the cultural appropriation aspect of yet another white lead in a Japanese set horror movie, but actually what became my biggest annoyance was that not since The Blair Witch Project have I seen a main character just make consistently awful decisions throughout the entirety of the picture. Points for nice filming, obviously a beautiful location, but it was over-reliant on jump-scares.

Truth

A Hollywood paperwork drama about the CBS news report into George W. Bush’s draft-dodging and subsequent fallout. Cate Blanchett is luminous as always but the movie was awash with the kind of self-righteous smaltz that made West Wing unwatchable for me. That combined with the overdone score being played to the nines over slo-mo every five seconds, it just frayed my patience. Despite the self-engrandising style, the movie was actually really predictable, with standard scene of career woman struggling/failing to be a good wife and mother. I could just call it scene for scene until the end arrived with mundane boredom and orchestral crescendo accompaniment. Ugh.